unless you want to read how I think through things, this is a waste of your time to read, I sugest you go look elsewhere to be entertained or educated.
Having prefaced my remarks thus, I will think through everything while I am sitting, and slightly less interrupted as usual.I just burned some brownies, not really, but I threw them away just the same.
nothing. I got nothing.
I bet there are some great songs titled nothing.
I need something
Friday, October 12, 2012
repitition
It is a method most teachers are familiar with, it is written on most items as the way to ensure success, Even my husband has noted how frustrating it is that Jesus Christ repeats his question to Peter, "Do you love me?" ?but it clarifies and makes cetain one is heard properly, sometimes I repeat things in my head just for verification as I didn't really catch things correctly the first time. t is also doctrine that two witnesses need to be offered to accept a thing as true and the angel appear 3 times to verfy he said the exact same things again, just so Joseph would not mess up what he was told.
I have been to this same point many times, the information is clear. I am entirely nistaken regarding my life purpose. I have realized that it is not too late to correct my mistake and that no mistake I made was potentially unforgivabe or uncorrectable. Last night I watched the movie "there be dragons" and loved the way it made me feel. If we are given bigger opportunities for mistakes then we are fortunate. just look at Peter. Even he was forgivable, I believe that even Judas Iscariot could have been forgiven had he not tried to solve things on his own. It will be becauuse I surrender my will that I can be forgiven and that is the only way I can have a hope of achieving the perfection I desire.
I need to go back to being oblivious of the things I shouldn't know anything about anyway, and instead simpy trust how I feel.
I need to get the kids dressed up so we can go do something fun, and get Joseph more presents and some peanutbutter. Ugh! it's raining, plan 2 Bath time and movie/pizza/popcorn night. "brother bea" again.
This is just another test of my resolve to live better, and be better, I just want to fritter my time away onine until bedtime, though.
I have been to this same point many times, the information is clear. I am entirely nistaken regarding my life purpose. I have realized that it is not too late to correct my mistake and that no mistake I made was potentially unforgivabe or uncorrectable. Last night I watched the movie "there be dragons" and loved the way it made me feel. If we are given bigger opportunities for mistakes then we are fortunate. just look at Peter. Even he was forgivable, I believe that even Judas Iscariot could have been forgiven had he not tried to solve things on his own. It will be becauuse I surrender my will that I can be forgiven and that is the only way I can have a hope of achieving the perfection I desire.
I need to go back to being oblivious of the things I shouldn't know anything about anyway, and instead simpy trust how I feel.
I need to get the kids dressed up so we can go do something fun, and get Joseph more presents and some peanutbutter. Ugh! it's raining, plan 2 Bath time and movie/pizza/popcorn night. "brother bea" again.
This is just another test of my resolve to live better, and be better, I just want to fritter my time away onine until bedtime, though.
Monday, October 8, 2012
My crochet project
Yesterday, I had a weird but common incident with my crochet project. I am making a larger sturdier bag for church on Sundays. I cannot find a pattern or exsisting bag that suits me, so I'm making one and yesterday I finished the long laborious task.
It included pulling apart an old afghan I had started year ago, to match my cool Monkey slippers. But as I would likely never complete it and I needed yarn, and had five able bodied kids around last weekend, looking to be helpful. We had fun making about 15 balls of yarn. I realy think Joseph was more of a trouble-causing than solving partner, but fun was had by everyone!
It was two-strand thick and took any and all free time I had for weeks. But yesterday evening I was done at last! and ahead of schedule! But, the frustrating part is yet to come.
The sides and bottom portion (the gussie) was waaay too long. I really cannot even wonder how it got so long*. But I did not want to undo all of that work, so I tried to attach it. As I was putting the pieces together I thought, "You know, doing it right the first time will save you alot of headache."I ignored that thought, but grew frustrated that I spent so much time on such a cobbled up mess. I decided that it was time to put it down for a while.
I wrote an e-mail to a friend, but the mess was still on my mind so I started thinking of all of my problems in terms of crochet. I was thinking about my life taking so long to get just how I want it, but I wouldn't even really think about what I had accomplised unless it went wrong anyway..I thought of others who had done everything right and I decided that it was worth it to take my bag apart. I could do that much right.
So, took it apart and completely unraveled the sides and bottom portion, DO OVER! You should be lead to the thought, but I'll come out and say it: It is alot like our life. Sometimes we simply must unravel and do it all over again, only this time right! I am making it over, properly I knew it would be extra work to measure and make sure I got it right, but I will have a lot of extra yarn, because it's shorter. In the end, I must put off my "House scrubbing" for another day, but it wil be worth it.
It included pulling apart an old afghan I had started year ago, to match my cool Monkey slippers. But as I would likely never complete it and I needed yarn, and had five able bodied kids around last weekend, looking to be helpful. We had fun making about 15 balls of yarn. I realy think Joseph was more of a trouble-causing than solving partner, but fun was had by everyone!
It was two-strand thick and took any and all free time I had for weeks. But yesterday evening I was done at last! and ahead of schedule! But, the frustrating part is yet to come.
The sides and bottom portion (the gussie) was waaay too long. I really cannot even wonder how it got so long*. But I did not want to undo all of that work, so I tried to attach it. As I was putting the pieces together I thought, "You know, doing it right the first time will save you alot of headache."I ignored that thought, but grew frustrated that I spent so much time on such a cobbled up mess. I decided that it was time to put it down for a while.
I wrote an e-mail to a friend, but the mess was still on my mind so I started thinking of all of my problems in terms of crochet. I was thinking about my life taking so long to get just how I want it, but I wouldn't even really think about what I had accomplised unless it went wrong anyway..I thought of others who had done everything right and I decided that it was worth it to take my bag apart. I could do that much right.
So, took it apart and completely unraveled the sides and bottom portion, DO OVER! You should be lead to the thought, but I'll come out and say it: It is alot like our life. Sometimes we simply must unravel and do it all over again, only this time right! I am making it over, properly I knew it would be extra work to measure and make sure I got it right, but I will have a lot of extra yarn, because it's shorter. In the end, I must put off my "House scrubbing" for another day, but it wil be worth it.
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* Likely, it was trying to watch Stargate Atlantis while you estimated the size. Or it might have been the children constantl interrupting your counting. My honest question remains How the heck did you not notice and keep working for days like that?
Friday, October 5, 2012
Birthday wish
I want so many things, almost too many to mention.
Doing without so many things for so long, some wants have been dismissed, while others have intensified, and I questioned why I wanted them and determined that I need them.
My birthday is on Sunday, so I need to decide how this day of granting wishes can be used to the best of my ability.
Sumed up: I need to get my hands on a piano daily.
Doing without so many things for so long, some wants have been dismissed, while others have intensified, and I questioned why I wanted them and determined that I need them.
My birthday is on Sunday, so I need to decide how this day of granting wishes can be used to the best of my ability.
Sumed up: I need to get my hands on a piano daily.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
today's thoughts
Twofold. The thoughts that I think today will be directly generated by these:
1.) Is the best time to decide to have a hysterectmy right after a traumatic pregnancy, laying on the O/R table already drugged up? It might be.
2)Nothing you can do could be as terrible as I am.
1.) Is the best time to decide to have a hysterectmy right after a traumatic pregnancy, laying on the O/R table already drugged up? It might be.
2)Nothing you can do could be as terrible as I am.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
my test
Well ,things seem to be happy in my current life. I must "dumb it down a bit", or be more of the world. According to the world, my life is superb. But, I just have this feeling like I was intended for something else, and my goal is not to find happiness for a while.
On to what my test really was though, now that I've given the conclusion... I have always heard that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day." or such things, but wondered if how you start your day honestly effects how you live. It does.
First thing when I got up my mind set was organized by this wonderful thought: we are all likened to clay. 'uh, it was so beautiful. I will not paraphrase or rewrite the words to suit my own purposes, I'll just paste them here and think with my typing:
I want to write a long post about reasonable men Vs. Spiritual man and conclude that a reasonable spiritual man is best.
Ok, so, with that I have so far learned that scripture study combined with prayer tastes best! I cannot describe how wonderful it feels to be so close to heaven, and it sets the mood all day and can shape all of one's choices, too. Well, then, it is further extrapolated that the teachings I recieved as a child from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches me the best principles and the best way to have a great life. so, for me, regardless of supposed veracity of certain points, which really bothers me, frankly, you life is better with it. It is like the Brilliant people who are "too wise" to believe in Santa anymore or raise their children with such s foolish tradition. They haved missed the point. It is good to give without thought of what you gt back, that is all part of what I got from Santa. No one gives a flip about the first kid who "figured it out". Uh, sorry. My opinions are showing :)
Without details, I can say that not eating a breakfast of yummy scriptures can ultimately lead one to a good and happy life, but not the best one, and really, you will have missed out on so many of those hidden treasures around you without proper guidance.
On to what my test really was though, now that I've given the conclusion... I have always heard that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day." or such things, but wondered if how you start your day honestly effects how you live. It does.
First thing when I got up my mind set was organized by this wonderful thought: we are all likened to clay. 'uh, it was so beautiful. I will not paraphrase or rewrite the words to suit my own purposes, I'll just paste them here and think with my typing:
So If mankind is more maleable in their youth, it stands to reason that we are all more maleable in the morning. I have contrasted days where I read scriptures with or without prayer and otherdays just prayed or listened to music. This morning I just tried to focus on being a good wife and mother, but could not stay away from craving scriptures!I was telling him that we can form the clay, while it is soft,and that if we have a vision of what we want the clay to become, we must form it while the clay is soft-- or as the clay hardens we won't be able to reshape it.and I said that is like our character and the kind of man he wants to become some day, it starts now, with his choices...bcz if he thinks he can "be" that man when he is an adult w/o first forming "his clay" (ie himself) into that, he will be sad to learn he waited too long. change may be possible later, but not easily (and likely never as well formed as if he had been formed that way from his youth) .
I want to write a long post about reasonable men Vs. Spiritual man and conclude that a reasonable spiritual man is best.
Ok, so, with that I have so far learned that scripture study combined with prayer tastes best! I cannot describe how wonderful it feels to be so close to heaven, and it sets the mood all day and can shape all of one's choices, too. Well, then, it is further extrapolated that the teachings I recieved as a child from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches me the best principles and the best way to have a great life. so, for me, regardless of supposed veracity of certain points, which really bothers me, frankly, you life is better with it. It is like the Brilliant people who are "too wise" to believe in Santa anymore or raise their children with such s foolish tradition. They haved missed the point. It is good to give without thought of what you gt back, that is all part of what I got from Santa. No one gives a flip about the first kid who "figured it out". Uh, sorry. My opinions are showing :)
Without details, I can say that not eating a breakfast of yummy scriptures can ultimately lead one to a good and happy life, but not the best one, and really, you will have missed out on so many of those hidden treasures around you without proper guidance.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
cooking mishaps
Ok, this isn't going to be about the many times I messed up an otherwise perfect meal by overcooking, like I have heard the joke about treating our husbands like gods, with burnt offerings.
But, it is about my daily life.
I was suprised by a thing that happened on Sunday night. I was baking cookies upon request for my little ones that wanted a homebaked goodie to take with them. Admitedly, I was rushed to try and bake their treat before their dad got here to pick them up.
If you don't know the kitchen is a scary place for me, with all of it's sharo untensils, hot things, and oils or powders to drop and make a mess. My balance is terrible. I was running to get the cookies out of the oven when the beeper went off, and as I tried to grab the tray of hot cookies, I dropped it. Brandall was standing right there by this time and he was concerned and tried to help me. I was really impressed by this act because it is something I a entirely unaccustomed to, Nick, my husband, just says, there is nothing wrong with me, and expects me to take care of everything by myself.
I thought about what Brandall said to the kids today because as I was making lunch for Nick, Joseph and Mary both wanted to help, and I told them that the kitchen was not a safe place for them, as the grease bubbles popped and exploded onto my hand, OUCH! I also recall a story a girl told of her step mom cooking with a deep fryer and when shedropped the basket the grease splashed up on her face and hands. Her sister suggested that they say a prayer and to this day, they believe it helped her, though she sti suffered and has scars, it was not nearly as bad or unbearable as it ought to have been. I instantly thought of the Roswell episode where the mother is stress cooking ans starts a grease fire and her son Max saves her using his alien powers.
I was suprised by a thing that happened on Sunday night. I was baking cookies upon request for my little ones that wanted a homebaked goodie to take with them. Admitedly, I was rushed to try and bake their treat before their dad got here to pick them up.
If you don't know the kitchen is a scary place for me, with all of it's sharo untensils, hot things, and oils or powders to drop and make a mess. My balance is terrible. I was running to get the cookies out of the oven when the beeper went off, and as I tried to grab the tray of hot cookies, I dropped it. Brandall was standing right there by this time and he was concerned and tried to help me. I was really impressed by this act because it is something I a entirely unaccustomed to, Nick, my husband, just says, there is nothing wrong with me, and expects me to take care of everything by myself.
I thought about what Brandall said to the kids today because as I was making lunch for Nick, Joseph and Mary both wanted to help, and I told them that the kitchen was not a safe place for them, as the grease bubbles popped and exploded onto my hand, OUCH! I also recall a story a girl told of her step mom cooking with a deep fryer and when shedropped the basket the grease splashed up on her face and hands. Her sister suggested that they say a prayer and to this day, they believe it helped her, though she sti suffered and has scars, it was not nearly as bad or unbearable as it ought to have been. I instantly thought of the Roswell episode where the mother is stress cooking ans starts a grease fire and her son Max saves her using his alien powers.
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