New years day

I let the kids stay up until midnight. We watched Final Fantasy: The Spirits within. My hope and intent was to increase their imaginations. Lena actually asked a lot of questions like what Fantasy had to do with it, and when I explained she commented that she was suprised that it was so futuristic. I told her that was just how ideas are created in a mind type. Some imagine stories long ago, some in the distant future, but some imagine them right now.

Yesterday, for Family Home Evening, we discussed how families are like Smoothies, and have essential parts, but that success is not necessarily achieved by using parts that seem best on their own. Then, the kids had a smoothie competition, making their own "blended families" ha ha ha, it waa fun.

Sister Hirschi brought over a gift that the kids loved. It was a picture book of rhyming text of ancient scripture called, "The Voice From the Dust" the older kids had a blast just creating their own stories from the pictures. I thought, so much of the work was already done, I can just write the songs and sing the stories to my babies! An awesome gift!

The best of all was a plate of homemade chocolates! They were amazing both to look at and to eat. I had tried to make candies, but failed. She definitely has a talent there. I recall going to a chocolate shop when I visited Robert to learn to make the little signatures on chocolates to tell them apart when making an assorted box.

I gave Brandall assorted chocolates for Christmas.

And that is all I have to say right now. Happy New Year! Maybe this year will he THE Year for me. Who knows?

it's too late

Tonight, I came to the most solid conclusions ever,  summed up? There was a time, but it has passed, and it is too late. I have refused the admission.

It is time to write those letters to my.children, and I see now that no matter my fate or suffering, my eternal life is of more concern thatn a brief comfortable mortal life. I don't care what my situation might be degenerated to. Everyone must seek that goal of peace, I don't know where mine is, but I know where it is not.

It just took me a bit longer to grow up, but now that I have I must live according to my conscience. I have a lot of repententing to do but, make no mistake, my desire is to do what is,best, only I was given a strange peek into how differently things are percieved forever, and I promise to live so that when the time comes that I join my ancestors they will be proud of my life and choices, not just feel.sorry and speak.about what could have happened.

I wanted to just say that it was too late in a sentance and leave it at that.

November 2012

today I got the nudge I was seeking. Go and do something of consequence, each act of service will build on another building a fine charachter and mothers feel like they can't do as much because they are tied down. but it was suggested that they realize that it is of most worth and service to raise goo children. That was my aswer. not what I want to do, but what I ought to do.

True Love

Simply put, I can honestly say this in words and never fear any implication. I am in love,and I now what it is.

I Love Jesus Christ and would prove it if required, but that is not the point. I just entirely feel in love. The more I learn the more I love.

how do you know?

There is much that I comprehend but choose to appear ignorant about to avoid that very question, "how do you know?" I thought of the perfect way to explain it in terms that anyone may understand. I was watching a TV Program with my son and in it they talked about how we have many senses and just because one is harmed or hindered to the point that it is unreliable we just use other senses to tell us what we must know.

So, let this be a little smirk. I am not the ignorant little fool you take me for with your unrounded senses. I speak fluent innuendo, and have received all of the messages that I originally assumed were not intended,for me, though I hoped, now, I just cannot bear the deep concern to develop for,me. I understand the need for secrecy, and I just don't have the strength to follow suit, instead I'll just keep on pretending. Ok, I am falling asleep, my words said put it in the microwave on high for 10 minutes...

nothing significant

unless you want to read how I think through things, this is a waste of your time to read, I sugest you go look elsewhere to be entertained or educated.

Having prefaced my remarks thus, I will think through everything while I am sitting, and slightly less interrupted as usual.I just burned some brownies, not really, but I threw them away just the same.

nothing. I got nothing.

I bet there are some great songs titled nothing.

I need something

repitition

It is a method most teachers are familiar with, it is written on most items as the way to ensure success, Even my husband has noted how frustrating it is that Jesus Christ repeats his question to Peter, "Do you love me?" ?but it clarifies and makes cetain one is heard properly, sometimes I repeat things in my head just for verification as I didn't really catch things correctly the first time. t is also doctrine that two witnesses need to be offered to accept a thing as true and the angel appear 3 times to verfy he said the exact same things again, just so Joseph would not mess up what he was told.

I have been to this same point many times, the information is clear. I am entirely nistaken regarding my life purpose. I have realized that it is not too late to correct my mistake and that no mistake I made was potentially unforgivabe or uncorrectable. Last night I watched the movie "there be dragons" and loved the way it made me feel. If we are given bigger opportunities for mistakes then we are fortunate. just look at Peter. Even he was forgivable, I believe that even Judas Iscariot could have been forgiven had he not tried to solve things on his own. It will be becauuse I surrender my will that I can be forgiven and that is the only way I can have a hope of achieving the perfection I desire.

I need to go back to being oblivious of the things I shouldn't know anything about anyway, and instead simpy trust how I feel.

I need to get the kids dressed up so we can go do something fun, and get Joseph more presents and some peanutbutter. Ugh! it's raining, plan 2 Bath time and movie/pizza/popcorn night. "brother bea" again.

This is just another test of my resolve to live better, and be better, I just want to fritter my time away onine until bedtime, though.