The end of July, Begining of life

I do not know what exactly to expect, but I know something is on the verge.

It starts when I whisk myself to privacy and pray.

The real thing I learned the most recently and thus most powerful to me. Is that when we really need help our way of helping is letting the Lord bless us mostly in that we excercise the faith. We need faith that if we do a thing the desired result will follow. Easy enough, huh? But, what if what we desire isn't what we want? Like suppose you need money for piano lessons, so you pray, fully believing you will be blessed. So, you know that you must act, so you obey the prompt to sign up as a volunteer at a play group. Ok, it was undeniable that the Lord's hand was in this, so your happy solution is that you find the money somewhere, but you talk for hours to another struggling mother about finances, and as you are leaving she finds a hundred dollar bill laying on the ground and instantly thanks God for it. But, you feel like maybe your prayer wasn't heard or something. Later that same mother calls and tells you that she has decided to start giving piano lessons and though it might not help much she would like to give lessons to your children for free. She only chose you because you were fresh on her mind and that finding the money helped her so much that she decided to try to make money and thought she needed to start out with a few others who might be a good start for her.

So, we see how things were orchestrated for the best of everyone and likely your solution was only presented because you first were willing to do as prompted, even if the blessing did not seem a result of doing so because you were focused pn finding money which was not your real need anyway.

So, I will not probably find money, but I will be answered with what I need, maybe that blessing will be but to know what it is I need.

Fourth of July

We had a family reunion in Atlanta. It was so nice to be with my parents, siblings, neices and nephews, but mostly my entire family all 5 children.

It was a very long trip. We were going by plane, but ended up unable to buy a flight so we drove.

It has been uncomfortably hot. I know that I must take the children and move to Mississippi. My parents are moving into my grandparents home in Florida. So, the plan is to rent their home from them so that I can be closer to the older kids, too.

There is a piano and a pool. But, I think it will be in October because I have to be an usher for the Ogden Temple Openhouse on August 12. I could just find a substitute though. But, I do not have the funds yet. I want to use birthday money. I would like to learn to drive well again, too, and hopefully I can afford a car, with my mom to watch the kids I can likely get a good job and eventually afford day care or babysitting. Nick just said that he wanted to think as he would not give his opinion. So, I prayed figuring if it was to ever be I would have to do it myself. He just gives excuses and keeps me hanging on and unable to ever do anything. No more. I got a sure answer that I will go, as of yet I don't know when. It is like last year, I prayed and got the answer that I should go but then I talked to Nick and as usual he never decides unless forced and I will not force him, but I am sick of being tied to a sinking rock. I know what to do and anyone else who prays will get the same answer.

This week we will get fireworks again! Or maybe not, I don't know what Nick has in mind, he never says, even if you ask.

August is hot

Today was another hot day. I saw a guy walking as we were going to get Nick's hair trimmed, and thought, I feel so bad for him. I bet he is not walking for pleasure, but because he must be somewhere. He looked overweight and very uncomfortable in the heat. I thought about the time I tried to go running after Lena was born. I decided that people who would benefit from walking do not because it is so uncomfortable for them. The times I liked to run was when I was already in shape. The difference is quite noticeable. It reminds me of how they say that it is easier to get a job when you already have one. Or how I had to be so uncomfortable to do simple things, but then Once I could do them I rested and never pushed myself out of my "comfort zone" to accomplish more. It is like using a wheelchair or walker. When I needed them I wanted them they made life easier, but if I had learned to depend on them my apathy would have increased to the point where I had no option anymore "Use it or loose it."

So, this morning, I made a hashbrown casserole using the frozen beef patty and an onion from the ward garden. It smells good.

I got the kids up and bathed and dressed then our adventure for today was a car wash, Mary started crying, but Joseph loved it. Then we went to get Nick's monthly haircut, and I packed thing to go to Jensen wild life park, but Nick said that it was too hot so we decided to go home and let Mary go to bed. The kids were so well behaved in the barber shop because they just sat and ate frosties. "time flies when your having fun."

We just got home from finishing the day with a trip to play at the park and feed the ducks, then we came home and cooled off the family all had ice cream sandwiches and sat on the stairs "cooling off".

Now, I will relax and watch episodes from season 5 of Stargate Atlantis.

A memory (before it fades even more)

Tonight, as I lay here on the couch contemplating my eternal life, I had this odd memory that would be fun to remember, though I do not know how it is stored. I do not remember actual sights, but ideas. I was visiting LeAnne shortly after Brandall and I had gotten married. I was pregnant and buying maternity clothes at thrift stores and then flying back to Nashville which would be cheaper than buying new clothes for a short use.

While I was there we visited the temple. I wore an outfit sister Pincock in Gallatin had given me. It was a very cute red top and skirt (maternity). We went for the purpose of getting maternity garments. But, we did a session. I remember LeAnne telling me a story about someone loosing a slipper in the escalator. After wards we were walking outside and I saw a large group of kids playing on the grounds, it made me happy, silly thing to remember, nonetheless, I still remember it. And It makes me want to take my small children to play on the temple grounds and maybe make some other person as happy. It is stupid littlethings like that which I remember and think about.

Today remembered

Not much happened today. I printed out a quote in Mongolian for a lady, but I do not think it accurately said,what I meant. I do not even know any Mongolian characters so I had to trust the translation entirely. I quoted a text that said, "The,greatest influence anyone can have in this life is the influence of young children." Be aide this lady had three small sick children and I can only imagine that she must be at,her wits end. We all went to the store to buy things to put in a basket for her and her children and the kids and I delivered it. She was moving this weekend.

I decided that I wanted to do something for the bishop for father's day from the second verse of the song "Fathers" from the Children's Songbook. I was thinking a jar of candies where each one represented a good deed the kids remembered.

Then Nick bought and installed new blinds, he took Joseph to the store, while Mary took a nap.

We decided that we would visit the Crandalls again. Joe asked me when he could go see the candles again. :)

We watched "Wreck it Ralph" tonight. I made pumpkin chocolate chip pudding.cookies, the kids liked them. Nick never said, though his only comment was negative, hmm...

Memorial Day

     It was a perfectly normal day for the most part. Joseph was a terrible Three and as we visited a train Museum in Ogden, at union station, he had a misfortunate event that lead to a bloody nose, poor fella, but really it was a natural consequence that I could not have orchestrated better to teach him.

I over heard another mother screaming at her small children for not obeying and running off. Strangely, it gave me comfort to know that the terrible behavior of my son was common enough that a random family was having similar issues, too.

Now, I should have tried to help in some way since I knew empathetically exactly how she felt, but I did not want to appear to even notice or undermine her authority. So, I just smiled to,myself and decided to appreciate the times that he was obedient a bit more as they happened, maybe helping him to be aware of how Happy his "being a good boy" makes me. Right now, his solution for any offensive is to say, "I love you." Give me a hug and say, "There, see? I make you happy. Do not be mad."

The real reason I am prompted to write about today though is to tell about the effect that one little girl had on me.

She was standing by herself and seemed to want to chat, so I started talking to her, she was just in Ogden, short term, and told me that she lived in Washington state. She told me that she thought Mary Anne was so pretty and really, I could,have thought, "oh, how nice."and left it at that, but I could tell that she wanted to feel like she was supposed to be there, so I started a conversation.

I believe that it is something taught to young girls because she asked my name, which seemed irrelevant, but I gave it nonetheless and she told me that she liked my hair. Ah hah! So that was it. Young girls are taught to compliment your hair.

Anyway, we had a nice conversation which ended with her being yelled at for wandering and probably talking to strangers.

I met up with Nick, and told him how much I really liked that little girl and he said that she was like a mini me. Maybe that was it, I sensed a kindred spirit. Either way. I was so glad that we happened to be there at that time so that I could meet her. It was a highlight to my day, and another reason I could be thankful to be where I was doing what I was.

It is not a common thing that we get a glimpse into it being significant to be where we are and it was sort of like a cosmic wink or something eeked out that might have gone unnoticed. I was so happy to be where I was and I KNEW it was right. Though, I did have questions forming.

A movie line comes to mind, behind the great question there is a yes, and a Yes and a YES. And, I am greatful that I was allowed to see that.

Washing is fun?

I suppose it makes sense that if Kids enjoy coloring the walls, they will have as much fun watching them transform to clean.again.

It is like the way, the kids love the magnet drawing board mostly they like to erase. So I'll segue into what we did this morning. We used magic erasers (generic ofcourse) to clean walls and the kids each had a portion of a scrubbing utensil and I chased them around from spot to spot  cleaning the wall masterpieces. It was fun!

Next up is making a stop animation video for Joseph. He totally loved the video of a bus stopping for a train track, we composed the soundtrack.