No internet

I woke up this morning to no internet and realized.how dependant I had become. I mean, it was like I didn't get my cup of coffee. I know that is a joke, but really, my whole day felt off kilter because I didn't have the expected tools at my fingertips. If you are religious, you might understand better in terms of some how offending God and no longer having that extra bit if confidence that no matter what happened, it has all been survived before and you will find help.

I could still Use my phone as a phone, uh, no I can't because it is broken, but it worked to do so many other things, I wanted to look up recipes, calendars, songs, etc. online, but I couldn't. I was making a pair of gloves which in theory I understood, but I had used the pattern exactly for the first and wanted and intended to use a pattern for it's pair. Oh well.

I finished a project for Joseph using my own skill and ideas which felt nice though I never doubted I could.

I started to realize something of extreme importance. Infact, it is probably too important to say here. I figured a few things out and was suprised that I hadn't already, they were so obvious. Maybe that was what Natalie Bradley was talking about when she saoid that the best way to get tripped up is to get so involved in doing good things that you are too busy to notice the best things.

Not, expounding on my thoughts so that others could digest them, I was able to think more deeply about so many things and an explination to fit them all. I get it now and can rightly and fully say that I do not love Brandall Brawner. I only loved and still.do love things about him, but not him. What I love has not changed, but my understanding reached a new level today.

Today, so many things made sense and felt right. I had been thinking that I understood things before and was keeping to myself regarding it, though, really, it kept making me wonder why, and feel confused. Now, I feel good and  just as much uh, doubt? But, something assures me this is true, anything true is going to seem impossible or everyone would know it. I've said too much... Cue REM.