The end of July, Begining of life

I do not know what exactly to expect, but I know something is on the verge.

It starts when I whisk myself to privacy and pray.

The real thing I learned the most recently and thus most powerful to me. Is that when we really need help our way of helping is letting the Lord bless us mostly in that we excercise the faith. We need faith that if we do a thing the desired result will follow. Easy enough, huh? But, what if what we desire isn't what we want? Like suppose you need money for piano lessons, so you pray, fully believing you will be blessed. So, you know that you must act, so you obey the prompt to sign up as a volunteer at a play group. Ok, it was undeniable that the Lord's hand was in this, so your happy solution is that you find the money somewhere, but you talk for hours to another struggling mother about finances, and as you are leaving she finds a hundred dollar bill laying on the ground and instantly thanks God for it. But, you feel like maybe your prayer wasn't heard or something. Later that same mother calls and tells you that she has decided to start giving piano lessons and though it might not help much she would like to give lessons to your children for free. She only chose you because you were fresh on her mind and that finding the money helped her so much that she decided to try to make money and thought she needed to start out with a few others who might be a good start for her.

So, we see how things were orchestrated for the best of everyone and likely your solution was only presented because you first were willing to do as prompted, even if the blessing did not seem a result of doing so because you were focused pn finding money which was not your real need anyway.

So, I will not probably find money, but I will be answered with what I need, maybe that blessing will be but to know what it is I need.

Fourth of July

We had a family reunion in Atlanta. It was so nice to be with my parents, siblings, neices and nephews, but mostly my entire family all 5 children.

It was a very long trip. We were going by plane, but ended up unable to buy a flight so we drove.

It has been uncomfortably hot. I know that I must take the children and move to Mississippi. My parents are moving into my grandparents home in Florida. So, the plan is to rent their home from them so that I can be closer to the older kids, too.

There is a piano and a pool. But, I think it will be in October because I have to be an usher for the Ogden Temple Openhouse on August 12. I could just find a substitute though. But, I do not have the funds yet. I want to use birthday money. I would like to learn to drive well again, too, and hopefully I can afford a car, with my mom to watch the kids I can likely get a good job and eventually afford day care or babysitting. Nick just said that he wanted to think as he would not give his opinion. So, I prayed figuring if it was to ever be I would have to do it myself. He just gives excuses and keeps me hanging on and unable to ever do anything. No more. I got a sure answer that I will go, as of yet I don't know when. It is like last year, I prayed and got the answer that I should go but then I talked to Nick and as usual he never decides unless forced and I will not force him, but I am sick of being tied to a sinking rock. I know what to do and anyone else who prays will get the same answer.

This week we will get fireworks again! Or maybe not, I don't know what Nick has in mind, he never says, even if you ask.