I nearly forgot my woes everyone was so happy yesterday in Tennessippi (Jeremy disease). There was trampoline jumping, switch playing, virtual reality mind blowing and sibling rivalry and Mario Kart Racing in the "projector room". Oh how dare I forget the fun with Lexi (a small Schnouser sp?).
Everyone had fun I didn't even mind loosing my credit card 💳 or breaking my toe (making it hard to walk).
Then this morning 🌄 I was thinking hard as I try to doze off cause last night was stormy and Joe got scared and needed me and the older girls were having spider 🕷 issues and had not yet turned off their light at 1:30 am. Well, they said they did until Lena felt a spider on her... But, evidence of laptop activity suggests sleep was not yet a goal.
So, I was thinking how I exercise and eat properly but still gain weight and I actually do not care. I feel bad cause the wii suggested a weight that I claimed that I would never reach but now have squeeked past, but I still find comfort in being taller and lighter than my girls who are not heavy. Plus, though I fret about my size it is only a 10. I freaked out when I was a six and thought, at least I am not a 10....so, there's that.
Mostly, it only matters that I am big for me. I only compare my daughters because genetically they are like me, right? Only I think they will all be taller than me soon.
My main thought was how I have never considered myself good enough because in my mind I OUGHT to look like movie stars and tv stars. And they were a representation to me what everyone else looked like, but if I compare myself to those I see in real life I still am usually the skinniest and prettiest. But compared to those who I use for a standard I just about reach my goal then I am out of that age bracket.
So, do I begin a diet or just not care cause if I do not try then I will not be to blame (like those kids on a Carol Burnett show who said just do not have any friends was the solution to keeping everyone of them pleased).
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