What is this? It is an expression of my great confusion explained through observation of another. Jodi Foster has expressed a fear that she missed something that is crucial for all those who studied to perform, she is simply a natural and it jusr happened that she stumbles upon a greatness others emulate. She thinks at times, although she is great in her own achievements, that she is committing a terrible faux pas among theatre students of which she is unaware because she has never recieved the formal training "everyone" else did.
I feel a similar paranoia when I am among my "kind". I was actually excited to come to Utah and be among other Latter-day Saints. I am one of them and have the same fruits, but I do not come to my conclusions through the same thoughts. I do not know the ways a utah mother teaches but I just know it is not the same way, yet I do fit in, and yet, I sorta don't.
I intended to liken this idea that had been in my head since I saw an interview years, and YEARS ago to the Book of Mormon story of Enos. In that Enos has heard the words of his father and they were there just waiting for a moment to rush forward and making themselves known at precisely the right moment.
But, instead I want to use another analogy. My paranoia reminds me of taking an algebra test and getting all of the correct answers, but not showing the work correctly. I barely passed college algebra although it was so very simple, because we were supposed to be learning tp show our math as evidence.
I am falling asleep and that was the goal, so adieu.
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