My choice

Because I do believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is actually teaching the words of God, it is my choice to gollow what it teaches. It is hard because my husband is not treating me as even an equal, and that leaves a huge gap for other doctrines to fill in and make me feel like that "energy level" is filled, when it is not. I realize it is only a temporary fix, and so many odeas get pork barreled into my nucleas and Although rejecting false items seems counter intuitive and to fix everything sometimes we need to break one rule to ultimately fix what needs fixing, I must choose the best and reject the false as much as I feel like I might break or cannot take it, this is not the "break" that I need. I know that much.

I choose instead to endure what seems like I cannot and wait for the real slim shady to stand up. Yes, I incorporate humor into my most serious moments, sorry. I know it is a fault, but I never proclaimed perfection, just that I do believe it is possible, and am going to try.

It reminds me of my early days teachong Microsoft Official Cirriculum. I always felt under qualified, but would tell my students that despite my inadequacies,  I had achieved something that they hoped to and I was qualified to teach them enough.  Although I was not an expert in their field, and was a very young GIRL, I knew what they needed to know, not everything, but if their goal was to get that certification I had done it and wanted to help them do it.

I idolize my God and I do not know how he did so many things, but I still believe that I can be like him. And maybe like my mortal father, Heavenly Father probably isn't a perfected being yet, either (How boring to exist without room for growth) but He has achieved being a thing I consider perfect. And foremost, He is a parent.