Things I ought to...

I was remembering a very special performance. I remember Mr. Wayne Stubs and playing the song Danny Boy cause the trombone part was extremely high, but I loved to play it, it seems like we were being recorded. But no matter how many details I recall like being in an odd building and a few people like Tara (bassoon maybe), Bart and Jeff. I can recall small details but not where or when it was. I am not even sure on the names the one boy I ought to have known very well. He loved Ohio State and sat next to me in the T-bone section. But all I recall is that I felt slighted cause I was the best and section leader in band but in orchestra I was last chair and the thought that calmed me reminded me what a chameleon I was. It did not matter what part I played. I was not a great band but assumed whatever role was to be filled. If I was with an award winning ensemble I was that caliber of player and with a crappy group I seemed better but wouldn't I prefer to just be in a wonderful group?It was an honor to be in orchestra.so,why did I compete in individual sports? I am a team player. I have a hive mentality.

The reason Ithought of it is because people have commented or complimented Nick and I on our family and he always takes all the credit and I thought perhaps he needs that little awakening. I remember Tal Bachman had one when he realized that his children were meant to be raised together with his wife. But, they weren't and I am really so extremely sad about that. I feel like Lucifer won out there and I just cannot let him have my children cause I am miserable. It occurs to me that I have other children, too and the plan was always to have them all sealed and I thought it hinged on dealing with things I did because my kids needed it, but I am starting to realize that I need actually to just be sealed to someone who actually loves me and have the children sealed to me. Nick has said that is a thing that will happen, but like Sarah Abram's wife. Started to suggest that if the promise of nations was Ever going to be realized something needed to be done. Sincerely, all I want is to build an eternal family and be truly cherished. Perhaps, I just need to express that desire a bit more.